How to Stop Cot Protests: Gentle Cot Familiarity Techniques That Work
Many parents share similar concerns when it comes to helping their baby sleep: “The moment I put her down, she wakes up screaming,” or “He’ll nap for hours in my arms but won’t stay in the cot for more than a minute.” Comments like these can make it feel as though the cot itself is the problem, or that a baby simply isn’t a “cot sleeper.” But in most cases, it’s not that the cot is inherently distressing—it’s that the baby hasn’t yet learned to feel familiar or confident in their own sleep space.
When babies fall asleep in one place, usually a parent’s arms and wake in another, it can be disorienting. Their nervous system reacts with alarm because the cot wasn’t the last place they remember being awake. One effective way to support this before making any sleep changes is through what I call cot work: gradually building a baby’s sense of comfort and connection to their sleep environment.
Making the Cot a Positive, Familiar Space
For many little ones, the cot is only used when they’re tired, unsettled, or in the middle of a challenging bedtime. Over time, it can become a cue for separation or struggle. Cot work helps shift that association by reintroducing the cot during calm, connected, wakeful moments.
This can be as simple as placing your baby in the cot during the day when they’re happy and fed, staying close, and offering warm, gentle interactions. Soft talking, singing, eye contact, or even a brief chat from nearby can begin to reframe the cot as a safe, predictable space. These moments don’t need to be long, just a few minutes here and there, consistently, can make a difference.
Adding Layers of Familiarity
Babies rely heavily on sensory cues to interpret their surroundings. You can help them feel more at ease by bringing familiar elements into the cot:
White noise (if this is part of your routine)
A parent’s scent on a safe, breathable muslin cloth
Soothing techniques—light patting, rocking motions, shushing, or singing that you normally use in your arms, now gently offered while they’re in the cot
The goal isn’t to force independence but to help your baby recognise the cot as an extension of the comfort they already trust.
Using the Cot Outside of Sleep Attempts
It can also be helpful to use the cot at times unrelated to sleep. A minute in the cot while you fold laundry or put on socks can create neutral, low-pressure exposure. Over time, this helps reduce the idea that cot time always equals separation or stress.
Even if you aren’t ready to change how your baby falls asleep, the cot can still become part of the bedtime routine. Placing your little one in the cot briefly before picking them back up to settle, builds predictability through gentle repetition.
Managing Expectations
It’s important to remember that a baby long accustomed to settling in arms won’t instantly relax in the cot. Cot familiarity builds gradually with consistency and a calm parental presence. And even with practice, some little ones may still protest when placed down to sleep, that’s normal, too.
Cot work can be incredibly useful as preparation for sleep training or as a standalone process. For personalised guidance through this journey, you can learn more or get support at Sweet Slumber — sweetslumber.co.uk.
With patience, repetition, and reassurance, the cot can begin to feel like a safe, comfortable space where your baby can truly rest.
